Metronatural Seattle may have competition soon... (maybe?)

From the incredibly fertile creative minds of urban Washington state has emerged a new slogan to attract tourists.

From the state that had adopted the “SayWA” campaign (recently dropped by the government who realized people were more attracted to codliver oil mixed with molasses than this public relations atrocity), there has been the emergence of a new horrendous slogan.

Introducing Seattle … as … “Metronatural.”

Kind of rolls off the tongue like … molasses, doesn’t it?

Explained an Associate Press story this weekend: “Metronatural” is the result of a 16-month, $200,000 effort by Seattle’s Convention and Visitors Bureau, which included 60 people from the bureau, the mayor’s office and businesses.

“The bureau plans to spend $300,000 marketing the slogan, er, “destination brand position,” which was developed by a local marketing firm called Exclaim. The advertising will largely be targeted at generating business for the Washington Convention and Trade Center.”

Hold me back! How can I resist Seattle after hearing “Metronatural?”

The next time I am caught in a several-hour traffic jam in and around Seattle, inching my way along, I’ll merrily whistle and gaze out at the natural beauty of … uhm … well, this metronatural paradise! Naturally, every metro area has a traffic jam, I’ll tell myself. I’ll just laugh, shrug, and exclaim, “it’s only natural! Good ol’ metro Seattle!”

When it isn’t raining or foggy, and if you’re in the right spot of the city, it really is gorgeous to see the majestic mountains in the distance. But if you’re downtown Seattle at street level, unfortunately, you’ll experience more metro than natural.

But then again, I wasn’t paid several hundred thousand dollars to create a new slogan and marketing campaign for a big city. My humble area of expertise is far, far from those metrominds. I’m just a potential tourist who obviously doesn’t understand the whole, complex yet simple reasoning behind hiring a company to develop such a clever and potentially effective campaign.

I’d be horrible in advertising for urban areas. With my humble farm background, I just don’t think I have the flair, the finesse and the … wait a minute. Did that story say the city was willing to pay several hundred thousand dollars for slogans like this?

My mind is racing. Think, think: figure out something clever that is worth a lot of money!

I think I should stick to what I know. Rural areas are my strong point. First, I need to create a buzz by offering maybe a freebie or two, make people aware that they can trust me to deliver wise advice on marketing tourism beyond a city block or the Back Forty.

Here goes. Ahem.

Today I unveil the new slogan to attract people to rural areas.

Inspired by “Metronatural” (has that been trademarked yet? Am I even allowed to type that over and over again without the little trademark sign after it?) … today I launch: the Realrural slogan (or for the rebels out there who dare to be different, Ruralreal.)

That’s right. Feel free to use it to help create agri-tourism, attract people to small towns across the country, and share the wonderful side of America we love so much.

This new slogan can be used in many ways, ranging from bumper stickers to names of events to television shows: like the “ Get Realrural Reality show” or for fundraisers against urban sprawl we’ll have the “Keep it Realrural” charity banquet in small town halls.

This new slogan can be applied in so many ways, perhaps it’s time to end for now and let the Realrural folks (you know who you are) dream up other ways to promote this great idea.

And just think: all this without spending a cent on consultants…

You’re welcome.

Agriculture
Tourism
Seattle
Rural living