Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Don’t have a (falling) cow, man

It behooves me to milk this story for bad puns ... stop me if you herd this cliffhanger (well, jumper…)

I guess you could say this couple in an AP story was hit by a mooooooooving target.
It's too bad the couple weren't able to steer away from trouble.

It’s grate they weren’t injured, but they were a bit cheesed off that this happened on their anniversary.

Guess the lesson is a cow may have jumped over the moon ... but it sure can't clear a minivan.

* * * * *

(The above has been my humble contributions to the comedy world since I realize many people are going through withdrawal symptoms because their favorite sitcoms and late night talk shows are on reruns because of the Hollywood writers’ strike.)

Which leads me to … the top 10 reasons why people are concerned about how long the strike might go on …

10) They might find out the judges and hosts of shows like Dancing with the Stars are reduced to Stumbling with Words.

9) Television commercials about personal hygiene products start to appear wittier than sitcom dialogues.

8) What is introduced as the precious lost episodes of various late night talk shows look suspiciously like C-Span recordings from 2002.

7) Stephen Colbert might decide he needs a day job and announces a run for presidency in states other than South Carolina. This time, the political parties decide to accept his offer and earnestly begin fundraising.

6) After shock and denial during the first few days of the strike, avid television fans decide they must be brave — they seek life beyond their sofas and remotes. They stumble into the streets and discover they have neighbors that are three-dimensional. Who knew?

5) Radio talk shows enjoy a sudden spike in “first time callers, first time listeners” who wish to discuss their passionate dislike of the new plots of daytime soap operas and how they think the new plot writers should mysteriously disappear (stay tuned for details.)

4) Without the distraction of their favorite television shows, Americans begin to pay more serious attention to Iraq and learn that Osama hasn’t been caught yet. Neighborhood vigilante groups are formed to tackle the problem, as well as clean up their local parks.

3) Without late night talk show comedians giving them their political commentaries of the day’s events, people actually begin to watch the news to hear firsthand what the politicians say in Washington, D.C. Long-term therapy will be later needed.

2) The food industry reports a catastrophic drop in junk food consumption by consumers; fortunately, beer sales remain healthy thanks to people attempting to numb themselves to the sports show anchors … who continue their endless banter on players giving 110 percent, the team scoring the most will win the game, and how everyone is in a win-win situation except those who lose.

1) And finally … People desperate for humor turn to our humble blog, and Blogriculture develops a cult following … Or, on days we write about falling cows, a cowlt following.

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